Weapons of Mass Destruction

Among the things that are unavailable to minors for purchase in local stores are: Guns, ammo, explosives, fireworks, weapons of mass destruction, pornography, and... super glue?

That's right, you need to be 18 to buy super glue nowadays. Now, instead of telling you why this wrong and should make you loose faith in humanity, we're going to explore the many ways in which super glue is worse than the above mentioned items.

1. Door locks and ATMs.

ATMs and door locks nowadays are built so that they are pretty much indestructible from the outside. ATMs and locks are shock resistant, bullterproof, and are not weak to porn. How, might you ask, are we supposed to get rid of these juggernaughts? If porn doesn't get them, nothing will! Well, the answer is simple:

SUPER GLUE!

Pour that stuff into a lock, on an credit card, and just slide it in. It locks up the lock for good, and the ATM is never going to give out any money. They might be indestructable on the outside, but they're weak on the inside.

2. Toiled seats and door handles

The initial thought might be funny: some random person getting stuck to the said handle or seat for 10 minutes while they chizel themselves off. But wait, it gets worse. The glue doesn't actually dry on the seat or the handle. This means that the person doesn't get stuck to the handle or the seat. They get stuck to themselves, or whatever they touch afterwards (like their pants, or instance).

3. Sexual Awkwardness!

None of those items are ever going to cause that, but with the help of some super glue, this can be easily remedied!

Find a bottle of lube? Replace it with super glue. Know where they keep their toys? Super glue. Tampons, condoms, you name it, super glue will make it all better.


So now you see why super glue is so bad, that is had to become a restricted substance (well, sort of... you're still allowed to use it, just not buy it unless you're over 18). Teach your kids about the dangers of super glue.

[ fluffy: I couldn't figure out why that is restricted
fluffy: I did however, lose some faith in humanity
fluffy: Results 1 - 10 of about 663,000 for super glue in eyes. ]