Suicide

Suicide is no joke, and this post is in no way trying to make fun of the people that suffer from depression and have/have tried to commit suicide.

As I stood next to waterfalls, next to giant rock cliffs, and on top of Half Dome, I imagined myself falling down, jumping off, taking the leap of death. It would be so easy, so fun, so quick, and I would die and almost no one would care about me. I would never commit suicide, yet the thought seemed so fun, and I found myself thinking about doing it, and had to edge away before I lost my mind (seriously, I'd never commit suicide. In other news, "Suicide is a Legitimate Way to Succeed in Life" will come soon (: ). So, without further ado, 5 fun ways to commit suicide.

5. Jumping off of Half Dome in Yosemite.
Pros
With more than 500 people passing through here everyday, it will be both showy and well known. The free fall would last some time, and you will experience the joys of flying before being crushed into a pulp by the force of your body hitting the rocks down below. You will also get to join the small number of people who have fallen off of Half Dome. Guaranteed death.
Cons
You have to hike far, and there aren't enough explosions, manliness, and testosterone involved. It could be much better. [fluffy: You would also shit your pants on the way down.]

4. Commit seppuku in Times Square
Pros
Showy, flashy, and almost guarantees death. Seriously, there is only so much a doctor can repair. A much manlier way to rage quit. Much more manlier and awesome way to rage quit.
Cons
Not as nice scenery, not enough explosion, and sword needed.

3. Explosion while in a balloon lifted lawn chair.
Pros
Fucking awesome.
Cons
Needs a little bit of preparation, and you will get fined should you survive.

2. Reenact the slicing laser/wire scene.
Pros
This has been done in a bunch of movies. Person goes into room, doors close, lasers/wires activate, and soon the person in a bunch of cube shaped steaks. Fun, innovative, and sure to shock the onlookers as your body slides apart into steaks at the lines.
Cons
Too much work to prepare.

1. Explosion while jumping from airplane.
This one might seem like number 3, but let me explain. What you do, is you eat explosives in condom balloons, so that your intestines don't digest or ruin them, then jump out of an airplane and blow yourself up over a town while below a sound van is playing its raining men. And then it is raining men.
Pros
So awesome that words can't describe. Condoms, explosives, and manliness, not to mention the music makes it funny for some. It'll take a while for everyone to scrape your body off of everywhere in the city, and this guarantees death, even if the explosives fail, you still plummet to your death and the music looses none of its hilariousness.
Cons
Will take a while to prepare, but so, so, worth it.